This is so amazing. I requested like 30-40 different things on this site, and I actually got one! Haley Reed sucking dick and riding it buck bronco all-Floridian cowgirl, with at least one good lemon-squeeze pootie squirt straight from the coochie cooter thrown in there for respect to all the homies that came before us, and another random nice lady there to do different random little things to enhance the experience! Exactly as I requested! Word for word!
It feels like the company is having sex with my wallet, directly through my penis. As if the high-res image of Haley Reed on my screen is a type of primitive AI sex robot sucking my serpentine Schlange on behalf of Kink VR (TM) Corporate, and the ultra-hairy, full-body-orgasm guy's dick is a digital pixel sleeve containing my penis, which just so happens to be where the psychological version of my wallet is stored by my central nervous system.
I wonder if I could have stopped at requesting just 3 or 4 of the best ideas, if I still could have gotten the same result. Or maybe, by requesting so many things, I simply improved the chances that one of the things I requested would turn out to simply be something that was statistically likely to happen anyway, more of a prediction than a request. Either way, I win, unless they hate me and do the opposite of what I say out of sadism, but so far, so good.
My all-time record for getting what I requested was with the Bangers/Conk network, when I requested they ramp up their production of Macy Meadows videos to 90% of their total output in my very first comment on a VR site ever, and then one or two weeks later, on one of their network sites, a new Macy Meadows scene popped up out of nowhere, where she is unusually turned on a lot more than usual, and I can feel the power of Satan coming straight out of her evil-as-fuck sub nympho eyes into mine, indoctrinating and enslaving me.
Speaking of VR squirt porn and Macy Meadows in the same comment thread... that girl is a human water fountain. If you were stranded in the desert, that is who you would want with you. She would give you the greatest chance of survival. I swear, that girl can hold GALLONS of delicious, clean, clear, low-ammonia, sweet-n-tangy Macy's Local Homemade Lemonade in her bladder. She would be like the Cytherea of her generation if people even cared about making extreme juicy squirt porn anymore. I bet Haley could be on that level if she just had that same social context from back in the day to get her on Cytherea or Macy's level.
So here's a new Japanese-tier fetish video idea... ROPE BONDAGE SQUIRT CONTEST.
Of course the squirt contest would be judged and moderated by the one, the only, the legendary Old Faithful trailblazer of chicks being able to publicly piss all over the place for little-to-no reason and still somehow have hordes of guys frenetically jerk off to it like it's exactly what they've been waiting their whole lives for.... CYTHEREAAAAAAA.
For the contestants, I'll nominate Haley Reed, Anna de Ville, any other top stars or fan favorites on here or the entire flat Kink network still active, or willing to activate (like sleeper escorts), who know how to and like squirting (or just have decent bladder discomfort tolerance), and of course last and far from least, the adorably out-of-control pissy pants cutie-in-chief Macy Meadoooooooooows, whom my bets are placed on in advance, without even knowing who her competition is.
Macy is so good at pissing all over the place in the middle of sex, I have no idea why she hasn't been headhunted into neither the VR nor even the flat Kink catalogs, for squirt and/or piss fetish and forced piss drinking femdom porn, or for boy-girl maledom porn where she squirts such a ridiculous amount mid-dick-down (even while being throated) that you could make an entire squirt-themed video series out of it. This may be one of the world's great mysteries.
Perhaps she has reservations, being a shy, demure country-girl NERD from probably a conservative Christian small-town background, who are perfectly well and fine with all them dicks in their little angel's asshole, but seein' her pissing on poor fellas and making them drink it, THAT is not the little girl this town raised, and THAT is where they draw the line (bigots). Talk about disgracing the Meadows bloodline and the honor of the great Carolinas. Maybe she just has to give D***y a little bit of that bittersweet liquid lovin first before he considers approving of that career choice. I can see why he'd be jealous and protective.
In that case, just send Macy this love letter from her fan, written on Haley Reed's video comments expressly to make Haley jealous and indirectly neg her, and tell Macy that I almost certainly contributed to her getting that last VR scene with Bangers/Conk.
Wait a minute. Was it them? It was Badoink, wasn't it. It was. They must have been reading their competitors' comments. How very savvy of them.
Holy shit. That means Macy is already in the Badoink network. I bet half the admin work towards booking her is already pre-done in some simple files or form templates that can be sent over email as soon as she accepts the offer. AMAZING.
At first I wondered if this guy was the guy with the Arabic script tattoos on his arm who couldn't get a boner for the whole intro of the Mx. Ryder BBGG scene. I was gonna say that would be a good match for her own tattoos. In that case I'd suggest changing the title to:
"Big-Dicked Sultan Welcomed Into Constantin-Istanbul By Horny, Satanic, Heathen Greek Sluts, Who Convert Turkey Into The Most Sexually Libertine Country In The Middle East Even A Millennia Later With An Historic Sex Act"
This guy's got a bunch of Japanese or European-looking pagan dragon tattoos though, so maybe he's Hindu or something. That's not a stretch. You're a stretch. If it was actually a Hindu guy and the video was for the Hindu market, the title could be:
"Desi D...y Dick De-Radicalizes T...t Blonde Girl, Saves Lives, and Improves His Karmic Varna In One Fell Dick-Down: CTs Win"
If the guy's Latin:
"Papi Fucks Hot, Skinny Rubia In Dank Miami Dungeon to Dark Industrial Reggaeton Until She Calls Him D...y Yankee"
If the guy's the other option, I'm already in hot water, and this sex joke is verboten when I haven't even thought of what it should be yet. Good night.
Comments
FUCK YES, FIRST COMMENT.
This is so amazing. I requested like 30-40 different things on this site, and I actually got one! Haley Reed sucking dick and riding it buck bronco all-Floridian cowgirl, with at least one good lemon-squeeze pootie squirt straight from the coochie cooter thrown in there for respect to all the homies that came before us, and another random nice lady there to do different random little things to enhance the experience! Exactly as I requested! Word for word!
It feels like the company is having sex with my wallet, directly through my penis. As if the high-res image of Haley Reed on my screen is a type of primitive AI sex robot sucking my serpentine Schlange on behalf of Kink VR (TM) Corporate, and the ultra-hairy, full-body-orgasm guy's dick is a digital pixel sleeve containing my penis, which just so happens to be where the psychological version of my wallet is stored by my central nervous system.
I wonder if I could have stopped at requesting just 3 or 4 of the best ideas, if I still could have gotten the same result. Or maybe, by requesting so many things, I simply improved the chances that one of the things I requested would turn out to simply be something that was statistically likely to happen anyway, more of a prediction than a request. Either way, I win, unless they hate me and do the opposite of what I say out of sadism, but so far, so good.
My all-time record for getting what I requested was with the Bangers/Conk network, when I requested they ramp up their production of Macy Meadows videos to 90% of their total output in my very first comment on a VR site ever, and then one or two weeks later, on one of their network sites, a new Macy Meadows scene popped up out of nowhere, where she is unusually turned on a lot more than usual, and I can feel the power of Satan coming straight out of her evil-as-fuck sub nympho eyes into mine, indoctrinating and enslaving me.
Speaking of VR squirt porn and Macy Meadows in the same comment thread... that girl is a human water fountain. If you were stranded in the desert, that is who you would want with you. She would give you the greatest chance of survival. I swear, that girl can hold GALLONS of delicious, clean, clear, low-ammonia, sweet-n-tangy Macy's Local Homemade Lemonade in her bladder. She would be like the Cytherea of her generation if people even cared about making extreme juicy squirt porn anymore. I bet Haley could be on that level if she just had that same social context from back in the day to get her on Cytherea or Macy's level.
So here's a new Japanese-tier fetish video idea... ROPE BONDAGE SQUIRT CONTEST.
Of course the squirt contest would be judged and moderated by the one, the only, the legendary Old Faithful trailblazer of chicks being able to publicly piss all over the place for little-to-no reason and still somehow have hordes of guys frenetically jerk off to it like it's exactly what they've been waiting their whole lives for.... CYTHEREAAAAAAA.
For the contestants, I'll nominate Haley Reed, Anna de Ville, any other top stars or fan favorites on here or the entire flat Kink network still active, or willing to activate (like sleeper escorts), who know how to and like squirting (or just have decent bladder discomfort tolerance), and of course last and far from least, the adorably out-of-control pissy pants cutie-in-chief Macy Meadoooooooooows, whom my bets are placed on in advance, without even knowing who her competition is.
Macy is so good at pissing all over the place in the middle of sex, I have no idea why she hasn't been headhunted into neither the VR nor even the flat Kink catalogs, for squirt and/or piss fetish and forced piss drinking femdom porn, or for boy-girl maledom porn where she squirts such a ridiculous amount mid-dick-down (even while being throated) that you could make an entire squirt-themed video series out of it. This may be one of the world's great mysteries.
Perhaps she has reservations, being a shy, demure country-girl NERD from probably a conservative Christian small-town background, who are perfectly well and fine with all them dicks in their little angel's asshole, but seein' her pissing on poor fellas and making them drink it, THAT is not the little girl this town raised, and THAT is where they draw the line (bigots). Talk about disgracing the Meadows bloodline and the honor of the great Carolinas. Maybe she just has to give D***y a little bit of that bittersweet liquid lovin first before he considers approving of that career choice. I can see why he'd be jealous and protective.
In that case, just send Macy this love letter from her fan, written on Haley Reed's video comments expressly to make Haley jealous and indirectly neg her, and tell Macy that I almost certainly contributed to her getting that last VR scene with Bangers/Conk.
Wait a minute. Was it them? It was Badoink, wasn't it. It was. They must have been reading their competitors' comments. How very savvy of them.
Holy shit. That means Macy is already in the Badoink network. I bet half the admin work towards booking her is already pre-done in some simple files or form templates that can be sent over email as soon as she accepts the offer. AMAZING.
SQUIRT CONTEST.
SQUIRT CONTEST.
Let's get a chant going, guys.
SQUIRT CONTEST.
At first I wondered if this guy was the guy with the Arabic script tattoos on his arm who couldn't get a boner for the whole intro of the Mx. Ryder BBGG scene. I was gonna say that would be a good match for her own tattoos. In that case I'd suggest changing the title to:
"Big-Dicked Sultan Welcomed Into Constantin-Istanbul By Horny, Satanic, Heathen Greek Sluts, Who Convert Turkey Into The Most Sexually Libertine Country In The Middle East Even A Millennia Later With An Historic Sex Act"
This guy's got a bunch of Japanese or European-looking pagan dragon tattoos though, so maybe he's Hindu or something. That's not a stretch. You're a stretch. If it was actually a Hindu guy and the video was for the Hindu market, the title could be:
"Desi D...y Dick De-Radicalizes T...t Blonde Girl, Saves Lives, and Improves His Karmic Varna In One Fell Dick-Down: CTs Win"
If the guy's Latin:
"Papi Fucks Hot, Skinny Rubia In Dank Miami Dungeon to Dark Industrial Reggaeton Until She Calls Him D...y Yankee"
If the guy's the other option, I'm already in hot water, and this sex joke is verboten when I haven't even thought of what it should be yet. Good night.